(This is the first installment in a Two-Part blog post from Wind River alum and team member, Maggie Fisher. Feel free to email Maggie if you have any thoughts or comments!)

As if we don’t have enough to deal with in our lives following a cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment – for many of us our treatments leave us with lingering questions about sexual intimacy:

• Why is sexual intercourse painful? Will the pain ever go away?
• Why don’t I have the energy for sex anymore?
• My body has all sorts of new scars, will my partner still find me attractive?
• I was treated for breast cancer – so why is intercourse painful?
• Will I ever be able to have children?

 
It really doesn’t matter WHAT type of cancer you have – the impact on our sexual health and well-being is significant for all survivors.
 
In my case as a breast cancer survivor, I encountered a few things. First of all, the chemo regimen that I was on kicked me into menopause right away. BAM! There was no gradual easing into menopause - it was sudden and irreversible. Then I started taking Tamoxifen which shut off all estrogen production and led to all sorts of changes to my body and libido.  I would watch TV and see the ads for all sorts of products designed to ease the side effects of menopause and realize that if these products contained estrogen then they were off limits to me.
 
I remember the day that I brought the topic up with my medical oncologist during one of my visits. I was nervous to speak aloud about what I was feeling. We had never discussed sexual intimacy in any previous appointments and I was very uncomfortable about mentioning it now. I had recently helped out with a Wind River retreat for women with gynecologic cancers and sat through a session led by a pelvic floor therapist. The session opened my eyes to a whole new line of therapy that might be able to help me with my issues. I was prepared to ask my oncologist for a referral to the pelvic floor therapist at my hospital….but I was nervous. His response surprised me. He readily agreed to submit the referral but his comment to me was, “Huh…It never dawned on me that you would need help with that as a breast cancer patient.”
 
I got my referral and had a series of sessions with the pelvic floor therapist. But most important, I opened the dialog with my oncologist about sexual intimacy and in doing so hopefully expanded his awareness with his patients. He continues to ask me about how I’m doing with that, and he also speaks regularly with the therapist who helped me.
 
My situation worked out okay – but mostly because I knew what to ask for and mustered the courage to do so. What about those survivors (male AND female) who don’t know what to request or when to push? I have a dear friend who is an ovarian cancer survivor who approached her oncologist because she was having issues with low libido. Her doctor suggested she relax, take a bath, and have a glass of wine to set the mood. WHAT? Is this 1957??? Needless to say, she needed a BIT more help than that.

Next week I will share Part 2 of this discussion and give you some suggestions for getting back on track with your sex life! Stay tuned!

ALUMNI SPOTLIGHT
We are super proud of our friend and Wind River Family member Ronda Hartzel on her recent retirement as a Commander in the US Navy!  

Not only did Ronda make it to full retirement in the military, she did it with stage IV breast cancer (not an easy thing to do in today's military).  Ronda was diagnosed with cancer seven years ago at the age of 36, and while she continues regular treatments, she is NED -- No Evidence of Disease. 

Four of us drove to Washington to be there for the ceremony and couldn't be happier for her.  It is a tribute to her positive attitude and tenaciousness that she was able to achieve this huge milestone.

Permission granted to come ashore Commander Hartzel!

* Be sure to check out this Emmy Award winning documentary on Ronda:  
 
Ronda Emmy Winning Video ​

Great feedback everyone!  Here is what we heard loud and clear:

• You want more opportunities to meet up with Wind River. Top choices included attending a sporting event or music concert (55%), grabbing lunch or dinner (57%), and the #1 request (drum roll please) meet-up at a brew pub or winery (60%).

• It was just about unanimous that everyone would like to participate in our Walk/Run Fundraiser in May (48% Yes; 44% Maybe) with a preferred Walk date of May 20, 2017.
• Many of you indicated that you would like to see us offer more programs. The top choices were Healthy Cooking classes (61%), Long Term Survivor programs (59%), Workout/Exercise/Yoga classes (57%).

​

• Finally, we received some amazing additional comments:

"I absolutely loved the retreat I attended and I gained so much from it. Shannon and Dave are unbelievable and I hope I get a chance to see them again. Thank you for everything."

"I love your programs for survivors. You both have given so much hope and encouragement to others. Please keep up the excellent meaningful work!!!!"

"I would consider any activity an enlightening experience. I look forward to joining as much as possible. Thanks for the opportunity."

"You were very helpful when I was new to my diagnosis and therapy. The retreat I attended was what I needed at that time-- thank you!"

"Keep up your great work. Here's to another 10+years"
​

... and keep an eye on our calendar and our Facebook page to get the latest information on upcoming events. We can’t wait to see you!