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​Don’t Should On You

11/30/2020

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By Mellisa Wheeler, friend of Wind River and survivors everywhere through the Levine Cancer Institute

"I sat staring from the bottom stair of the deck today. While the dirty dishes sulked staunchly in the sink, refusing to suds themselves, I just sat.

I sat watching leaves cast the rest of the season’s cares aside as they leapt from their limbs and cascaded gently down to join their family quilt to blanket the ground below.

While a pig pile of a laundry garden pouted imprudently on my bed, waiting to be plucked apart, I just sat.
I sat watching the delicate dance of the fall day’s dander as it dashed then dallied across the sun soaked sky before coming to rest on the unsuspecting blades of fading grass beneath.

While a monster list of must-do’s and mission impossibles glibly gathered dust in the corners, I just sat. I sat and inhaled , soul-deep, the spicy tang of autumn air while exhaling the stifling pressure of the “shoulds”. I should be cleaning. I should be folding. I should be doing. Instead I just sat. I gave me grace. And it was exactly what I needed.

It’s been a hell of a year my sweet friends and there are still more mountains to climb. For today?  Give up on getting things done and get into giving yourself a well-deserved dose of grace. The dishes will still be there, the laundry and the lists too. And that is ok. Sometimes what we need doesn’t match our should.  And that is ok too. So don’t “should” on you. And while you’re at it, don’t “should” on anyone else either.

Just sit. Just breathe. Just embrace the grace.
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